SexEd Part 4: The In-Service

We- all the teachers- are sitting in the computing lab. We have just finished some sort of training that I’m not entirely sure about, and we are bantering back and forth. The conversation turns toward all the school events happening soon. Sex Ed is brought up. I am suddenly receiving all sorts of interest, even though I’m not saying anything. I don’t have to- everyone knows I was roped into it. This is called ‘hazing’.

Dave, the middle/high school director that had to do this last year, is having great fun at my expense, although he has the right, as he gave the ‘talk’ last year. He steadfastly refused to do it this time around, and he’s dropping bits of dialogue from last year’s meeting, much to the amusement of my colleagues.

Kid: “ So …I woke up with all this sticky stuff all over my pyjamas. What is up with that?”

Dave: “Umm, it’s called a wet dream. It’s perfectly normal.”

Kid: “ So what’s it called, you know, when your penis fills with blood?”

Dave: “It’s, umm, called an erection. It is perfectly normal.”

Kid: “MAN, I get like 20 or 30 of those a day!”

Dave: “Um. Yes. Uh, that may not be perfectly normal. But you may not be perfectly normal, and that is perfectly normal. Next question.”

I know they chose the wrong person to do this.